The past couple of weeks have been extremely challenging. I get ministry is hard; after 17 years, I have figured that out…thriving in disability ministry really is all about balance and making adjustments, as seasons of life change constantly. But I am reminded when I am at my weakest, He is strongest. Recently, however, ministry has been overwhelming with such need from the families Access serves from situations ranging from sickness, to death of a child, to surprise medical diagnoses, to financial ruin and job losses. People whose lives have been turned upside down and the rug pulled out from under their feet. As I and the staff scramble to meet the ever-growing, complex needs, it seems to never be enough, as the world is full of such brokenness and suffering. How can we meet every need? Accepting our limitations is so often difficult to do.

On top of this, my church is going through a time of major transition, resulting in staff being laid off and some ministries no longer functioning. During this state of flux, I have been burdened for my fellow staffers and friends, many of whom were directly impacted by job cut backs, which filled me with such sadness and sorrow.

In my personal life, I have two parents whose health is failing and the long-term prognoses are not very positive. One parent has a neurological regressive disease, and the other a rare form of bone cancer. I am in that sandwiched generation of caring for elderly parents while still raising my two youngest in the home, one of whom has significant emotional disabilities and is teaching me daily what true patience and selflessness look like…neither an easy lesson to learn.

With all that has been going on, I recently felt very empty, running on fumes close to an empty tank. Out of the blue one day last week, a fellow special needs ministry worker randomly shot me an email on a day that was especially challenging. His words of encouragement meant so much and actually helped breathe new life into me and validated again that the daily grind of ministry is so worth it in the long run. “Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit.” Proverbs 15:14

Never underestimate the power of your words; whether words of love, encouragement or concern, via email, text, phone or in person, really does not matter. What does matter is those words shared on a particular day may be just what the receiver needs to hear to keep them going, and sustain and bless them.

Who has God laid upon your heart today for you to reach out to encourage, edify and equip? If no one comes to mind, pray for God to reveal that person(s) and listen to Him. You have no idea how your small act of kindness may be what that person needs to renew his or her soul that day. Your words have the power to transform someone’s day. Language is at its best when used to inspire others to find the best in themselves.

“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”  Proverbs 16:24

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Eastern Europe to work with local missionaries and church leaders on developing and launching disability outreach and ministry. In one conversation with a pastor (of a growing, relevant church), he stated, “We do not really need a disability program, as God has blessed us with no one with disability.”

Did he just say that? Are you kidding?

Being a guest in their country, I had to bite my tongue at the foolishness of such a statement. I had many things I wanted to fire back at him – none of them resembling a Christlike response.

I began thinking about how richly blessed is the church to which I belong, as we continue to not only embrace those who are differently abled but intentionally go out and bring them in from the community.

God not only created diversity but thoroughly delights in it. His church should be a place like a rich tapestry woven together of many-colored strands. Colors on their own create a boring predictable monochromatic theme, but the melding together of colors creates a kaleidoscope of beauty in design, blending rich, bold deep hues with softer muted strands to create a masterpiece – beautiful chaos. Rough cords woven with softer flax strands, mixing many textures and forming mixed feelings to the touch. The pièce de résistance is thick with texture and color, causing an expolosion of one’s senses.

That is what God desires for His church, peoples of all nationalities and ethnic backgrounds, the religious mixing with the irreligious, the gifted and not so gifted, the weak and strong, the rich and poor, all pursued by God, a God who loves us unconditionally just the way we are. Whether we are physically, emotionally or spiritually broken, He cares for us and stands there with His arms wide open saying, “Come to Me.” God’s grace is inclusive, indiscriminate and impartial for us all.

Diversity in His church brings about unpredictability, mystery, and amazement, all of which are unable to coexist with sameness.

The Christmas season is a time for many that is marked by joy, festivities, frivolities and fun, a time to share and create new memories with friends and families. It is also a time to celebrate the lavish love of God and His amazing gift, Jesus Christ, to each of us, a gift not one of us deserves or could ever earn, only given to us through His amazing grace.

For many, though, it is a season of deep pain, darkness and separation from God and His people, a period of intense hopelessness instead of a time of hopefulness. In Luke 15, the father runs with his arms wide open to greet and freely love his lost son, the son who had demanded his share of the inheritance, squandered it away on a party lifestyle, and then returned home with nothing. The father loved both his sons – the younger son who left and led a life of sin, as well as the elder son who worked hard to earn his father’s love. Both were lost – the younger irreligious son as well as the religious one, who believed if he did all the right things, his father would love him.

During this advent season, it is the perfect time to invite and welcome home the lost, broken, and those living in mess and disarray. As his hands and feet, we are called to not only pursue those who are far from God but also fully welcome them into the fold. The church should be the perfect place for imperfect people, both lawless and legalistic, a place where one is able to come as they are and not have to clean up first. God meets us right where we are, just like the lost son who returned to the father in a filthy, unkempt and smelly state.

Make this Christmas a great homecoming. Open your heart to those in your families, communities and workplaces that are lost, broken and far from God. Reach out with arms open wide to care for the oppressed, poor and those in need. Care for them physically, spiritually and emotionally. We, as his children, should be known as a people of ridiculous grace and crazy love.

Light the way for those around you to return home.

“We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life!He was lost, but now he is found.” (Luke 15:32)

1. Dim the lights.

2. Bring the child into a less busy, quieter room.

3. Have the child face a simple wall.

4. Create a “chill-out” or relaxation space, and always have it available.

5. Make sure the room is not too hot; if necessary, turn on a fan.

6. Provide a soft, slow, rhythmic song, humming, or music.

7. Repeat an affirmation rhythmically.

8. Lessen noise by closing doors or having the child wear headphones or ear plugs.

9. “Swaddle” by rolling a child in a blanket.

10. Rub or apply deep pressure on the child’s back.

11. Have the child sit in a rocking chair or use a therapy ball.

12. Have him/her jump on a mini trampoline.

13. Have the child do wall or chair push ups.

14. Offer him/her something to suck on, such as hard candy, or applesauce/pudding through a straw.

15. Offer the child crunchy foods, such as a carrots or pretzels.

16. Have him/her chew on something chewy.

17. Have the child do deep-breathing exercises.

18. Count downs.

19. Blow bubbles.

20. Use a weighted vest or blankets.

On Saturday morning, I headed off to an early appointment with my neurologist. Because I suffer from a chronic migraine, I’m a frequent visitor of the neurology department for ongoing testings, treatments and injections to lessen the 20+ migraines that come my way each month.

As I sat waiting for the good doctor to arrive, in comes a young lady, a participant from our disability ministry. Melinda has developmental delays. I greeted her, and she proceeded to say she was not happy to see me out of church. Melinda is set in routine and doesn’t like change or surprise. I ignored her less-than-cordial greeting and informed her I was about to receive 50+ injections in my forehead/head to help my headaches.

Melinda sat quietly for a moment and then loudly announced she didn’t think I needed a doctor, and I did not look sick. I asked what she meant, and she said I didn’t have a disability. I responded back that all of us at some point in life have a need for the medical community, and, even though my disability is not visible, I do have one.

I thought about our conversation throughout that day, totally understanding what Melinda meant when she said I didn’t need a doctor. I had no visible disabilty, sickness or brokenness, but inside and hidden from the human eye, I have a chronic illness.

I am reminded all of us are broken and disabled due to sin and our separation from God. And, no matter how perfect we look on the outside, we all have need for a Savior. In Matthew 23:27-28, Jesus says, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” We all need a Savior because we are all spiritually dead and helpless without Him, regardless of how put-together or perfect we look on the outside.

I have to admit I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I am drawn to challenges and seek out big payoffs. I am a recovering Type-A personality. As a ministry leader, I am energized by mountaintop experiences. I love embarking on new programs and initiatives. Life should always be that energizing. Well, it isn’t. Much of my job would be considered mundane and routine — preparing for meetings, paperwork, answering too many emails and other numerous administrative duties – necessary functions in ministry but with little feedback or immediate gratification. At home, I have what seems like an endless list of household duties and chores, errands and running a taxi service for teens.

Much of what I do in my family and ministry life is, indeed, routine and repetitive. I sometimes struggle with finding contentment in the daily grind of life. It is undeniable I am like a moth drawn to the light when it comes to mountaintop experiences, which tend to be electrifying and exciting; but do I have that same enthusiasm and attraction to the mundane times of the day? There tend to be many more mundane-top experiences than mountaintop experiences in most of our lives.

So, what do we do during the daily grind? Have we learned to appreciate it, to thank God for those times as much as we praise Him for adventurous, exhilarating times? We are to be reminded God calls us to serve wholly in times that are exciting and fast paced, as well as those that are slow, trusting in Him from mountaintops to plateaus in life. God calls us to serve him in the ordinary and insignificant times as well. “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Col 3:23). Whatever that duty or job may be, do it with excellence as for God. With a mindset focused on Christ and not on the monotony of tasks set before us, we can find glory in the grind. We need to take our eyes off the stack of papers on our desks needing attention or the kitchen floor that beckons to be cleaned and put our attention on God, finding our worth in Him and not in what we do or in what we are involved, by solely concentrating on Him and what He did for us.

As I reflect on the past summer months, it’s a blur. Time whizzed by:  days filled with therapies, doctor visits, family obligations, errands, ministry and work-related events. I realize I had rushed through summer missing something, yearning for something more with an empty, lost feeling.

I searched inward, looking head on into my state of discontentment, and it dawned on me I had slipped into a state of mediocrity – doing too much and nothing well. This state of mediocrity had slipped into my spiritual walk. Yep, I was in a state of humdrum Christianity. I had become lukewarm at times, just going through the motions without fervor. My enthusiasm for Christ had slipped. The busyness of life and what seemed like never-ending demands on my time as a ministry leader and mom had begun to distract my focus. I no longer had a laser focus; it had gone from laser-like to a dim flashlight. I had exchanged a zealous walk for a blasé, passionless journey.

What I needed was to find that zeal. In Romans 12:11, Paul warns us, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” Easier said than done. What are some ways to keep passion in your walk with Christ? How can you find the zeal?

1. Pray for God to change your heart for Him, to draw you near to Him.
2. Prioritize time in the Word and with God; He must come first.
3. Simplify life – cut out activities; say “no”.
4. Recharge – plan for downtime
5. Stay in community with believers

We are called to be zealous about pursuing Christ, which is much easier said than done in this crazy, complicated thing we call life. Staying zealous doesn’t come naturally; it is work and must be intentional. When we are zealous, we serve Him with abandonment. Dare today to serve Him with all you have and all you are.

Help me live my life for you. Help me to be zealous in all you ask of me. Help me to know you, love you, worship you and serve you more each day.

It is week three of Soaring Over Seven, a camp designed specifically for children with disabilities and their siblings, and I had begun to notice staff looking weary and a bit downtrodden. Attitudes were starting to take a dip, with some grumbling and stinking thinking creeping in, as staffers were not only physically exhausted but emotionally fatigued as well. While camp is fun and exciting, it is also demanding and oftentimes challenging.

The team had “hit the wall”, similar to what happens to a marathon runner when he or she becomes depleted of all energy once all the glycogen has been used up. For most runners, this happens around mile 18-23 out of a 26.2-mile race. At this point, the runner’s body begins looking for other energy reserves and turns to the fat cells to convert to energy. Converting fat to energy takes more oxygen; and for a period of time, the body is in oxygen deficit. Many of the camp staff were at this point. They had run out of quick energy, or human effort, and now needed to turn to another source in search of that second wind.

A second wind in running is the phenomenon where the runner, who was at one point completely exhausted, out of breath, feeling as though his or her legs were like cement, and mentally ready to throw in the towel, finds the strength to press on at top performance with less exertion and finish the race well.

Our God is the God who dishes out second winds to those who desire and pursue Him. He loves to come alongside us at our weakest times and those of brokenness. Through His Spirit, we are renewed and refreshed. Just like the runner who pushes through hitting the wall into their second wind, God gives us the strength to carry on and help us push through. We do all we can on a human level, and God does the rest. God is the God of second winds. Let him pick you up and carry you. Let Him be the energy source into which you tap.

Soaring Over Seven staff, you rock!

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:2-3)

The other evening, while walking and talking with Alexandra, my 11-year-old granddaughter, we were discussing summer plans and goals. Alexandra shared with me one of her goals is to read 20 minutes each day during summer break. I inquired as to what book she was currently reading, which is Mocking Bird by Kathryn Erskine. 

Alexandra had purchased the book at the most recent school book fair. She was initially drawn to it by the cover design of the soft copy. She assumed she was getting a book in which the central theme or character would be about a mocking bird. To her surprise, she found it is not. She told me that, as she began to read the book, she was surprised but not disappointed at all.

The main character in the book is Katilyn, an 11-year-old girl, who is a bright student and artist learning to navigate life after the death of her older brother. Alexandra spoke of some of the life challenges facing the main character and then mentioned Katilyn had something called “Asperger’s”.

I responded by telling her I know what Asperger’s is and actually know several people diagnosed with it. I asked Alexandra if she knew what Asperger’s is, and she didn’t but thought it might be something like Autism. What an opportunity, a teachable moment in which to expand disability awareness.

I explained Asperger’s as a condition where a person’s brain processes information differently from individuals without Asperger’s, and the person oftentimes has difficulty understanding social situations, such as making friends. I explained people with Asperger’s are as different as she and I in our interests, likes, and dislikes. I shared with her people often think children with Asperger’s and those on the Autism spectrum don’t want friends, which is untrue; most of those children simply do not understand how to create and maintain friendships. Just like in the book, Katilyn received support from her counselor on navigating friends and relationships.

I continued to answer my granddaughter’s questions – the whole series of “But, why?” - with the best, most succinct answers I could provide, the entire time weaving in the idea that all children have a desire to be loved, valued and included. All are unique with strengths and abilities, created by a loving gracious God, a God who is perfect and all He creates reflects His image. 

Tips for Talking with School-Age Children about Disability

 1.       Create opportunities and environments for open dialogue; welcome and encourage such conversations.

2.       Answer questions matter of factly, giving appropriate level of information based on the age of child.

3.       Choose words carefully; stay clear of words or phrases with negative connotations, e.g. retardation, crippled and handicapped.

4.       Practice “people first” language, such as “child with Autism” or “classmate with Down Syndrome” instead of “autistic kid” or “Downs child”.

5.       Accentuate similarities and common interests/ground, as children with disabilities are more similar to typical children than they are different.

6.       Talk about each child’s strengths and positive qualities.

7.       Celebrate diversity – in ability levels, racial, ethnic and cultural backgrounds.

8.       Acknowledge how boring life would be if we are all exactly the same. Variety is the spice of life.

9.       Foster inclusive friendships. All children desire friends; some children just have more challenges in making them. Friendships boost self-esteem, confidence and independence in all children.

Remind children all kids are a unique masterpiece created by a loving God.

I can’t help but be tickled every time I read the heartfelt sentiments from Ethan’s mom included at the end of this post. See, many people might believe Ethan lacks intellect and potential due to his Autism, but I know differently. I have known Ethan since kindergarten, even before his parents had an official diagnosis for him. Over the years, I have watched Ethan grow into a teenager.

Sure, he loves food, as do most teenage boys; he will hunt down pizza and oreos. Ethan is prone to laziness, as many teens are, and oftentimes needs to be motivated, cajoled, gently coached, and often bribed to participate in activities.

He has his favorite things to do, as do we all. He is a video guy and has a great facination with Mr. Potato Head, a facination only a loyal fan would have, since his adoration began in kindergarten.

Ethan is a young man of few words unless required to use them. It is easier for him to point instead of speak; but since Ethan has language, it is more desirable to have him use his words.

Ethan is special in God’s eyes and in mine. Made perfect by the Master Creator and Image Bearer of God, Ethan is a gift and joy to serve.

Following is Ethan’s mom’s letter to our Access volunteers….

“Thank you to each and every one of you who has been part of Ethan’s church life…

• You who saw God’s love in him.
• You who made him smile and you who smiled at him even if it seemed he didn’t care.
• You who gently stood your ground even if it meant risking an “Ethan meltdown”.
• You who did his art projects for him (we know he didn’t do it!)
• You who made him love coming to church.
• You who braved the cupboard battle with him.
• You who made him speak when he wanted to make you think he can’t.
• And last but not the least…you who always hooked him up with Mr. P in his room  

Our family thanks you for all you do.  You are in Ethan’s nightly prayers and we are so grateful to have each one of you in Ethan’s life.”